one heck of a view from the rollercoaster
raw. open. exposed. come on in
So Covid stole our breath for a few days. A few frightening days. It stole our mind too. Because, we have discovered, our mind and our breath go together. A lesson darkness has taught us.
Funny, when I was younger I was fascinated with stories of people who had had near death experiences or had actually “crossed to the other side” and returned. What I marvelled at was not their story so much but their peace and their conviction in knowing something about themselves and their lives that became not only transformative, but a kind of bedrock for their spirit and sense of self.
We didn’t quite have the near death experience, nor did we cross to any side other than the other side of our couch, but we do feel an extraordinary feeling of awakening.
Something about having to fight for life giving air and lying so still to keep our heart from exploding (bit dramatic but how it felt). And having to work hard to regulate a wildly dysregulated mind without our usual tools (we couldn’t dance or breathe or create art or sing or write or walk or even tap our bodies without agitation)
Something about all this has left us feeling like we are awakening to something else … something we can’t yet name …
Something we can’t yet quite face
It’s just something
Something has changed
Something has opened some tightly clamped shut pockets deep within
I think the word I’m looking for is “someone”
But I can’t explain it
So I will keep looking
Or maybe it’s more about “allowing”
I will let something awaken someone and possibly, in time, find myself someplace
I predict I’ll be coming back to this … watch this new space (the one inside of me)
Writing by Kendall
Film by Max
Art Therapy for Self: our practice, how we created this, in case you’d like to try it
This one was Uber simple. It’s a particu windy day out there. In fact, it sounds like sometimes stole the, sometimes desperat, sometimes raging breath. We decided to express our own flailing breath with ripped up bits of paper in the wind. So armed with phone and paper, out we went. We shot this in 4 separate videos capturing moments of wind lifting paper (Or not). Then came back in and quickly edited them into one short to the rhythm of our breath in that moment (it was 8 counts then a quicker 4 then …). and voila. A strange little video capturing how we felt last week and today!
How to join: please come in
Many many days we feel alone or lost or just utterly discombobulated (fave word). Other days we feel like we are awash with wisdom or insight or hope. It's a rollercoaster alright!
Probably the most vital thing for us on our journey is that we are not travelling alone. We have the world's most magnificent friends, access to amazing therapy and a whole lot of serendipity of perhaps divine intervention?
I don't know about you, but rollercoasters all alone are no fun. So let's share the ride - the more the merrier, as "they" say (who are "they" anyway? This time "they" are right).
So here's where we share openly and authentically and expose ourselves with all our bits and pieces. At first we wanted to title this section "hanging out the dirty laundry" but then we realised it wasn't dirty, it was just life.
So please, journey with us. Let's hold one another and find encouragement in togetherness as we go Doooooown and UP. Because we always do. Smile
Same as always, follow along, add your own, riff off ours.
If you're feeling brave, post your versions in our comment feed so others can be inspired too. Or upload to your own social media (be sure to use our hashtags - #veryhumanrollercoaster - so we can find each other). Either way, make sure to comment on posts by others and encourage one another as we find new voices.
The only rules are: RESPECT!
See you in there!
Leonora et al